I spoke today to a dear friend in New York state. She hasn’t had her hair cut in 3 months. They are terrified there. Her family gathered for a birthday “party” in her driveway, where her relatives sat 6 feet apart from each other in lawn chairs. They talk to each other, on regular days, between screen windows. There is no contact beyond immediate family. Most people are just waiting for “something to change in November”, (her words).
Here in Phase 3 Illinois there are open outdoor restaurants. You cannot make a reservation and the wait is 3 hours long in some places. People’s hair is starting to shape up a bit as salon visits are happening.
I was on a business call with someone in Nevada last week. He is in the mountains, about 20–30 minutes from a store. I don’t know what his hair looks like. There are no masks. He’s aware of no rioting nearby. He is very, very chill about all of the crisis points that are the subject of this journal.
One of my son’s in California is required to wear a mask any time he leaves his house. He has shaved his head.
There is so much information that my headaches begin just as soon as I turn on my laptop. There is a fine line between being informed and being obsessed. It’s a challenge to figure out where it lies.
There isn’t much to say today, so this may be a short post. There are a few things that strike me and others that perplex me.
I get that we are often lied to/misled by media and this creates no cohesion in facts for us to wrap our heads around. Every side has an agenda and the media promotes who/what pays them. I get that we come from different foundations of reality. I get that we all feel as if we’ve been hit by a fleet of buses, not just one.
Yet what I don’t get is this new era of subservience and kneeling and apologizing. These swivel our focus backwards, not forwards, and don’t change a damn thing today. They don’t.
It strikes me as a supreme act of entitlement to think somehow that making a show of your (not personal, “your”, but media/celebrity “your”) sorrow, for either the cameras or your fans has the power to shift anything at all besides some feeling you hold about yourself. It sure isn’t for those who remain oppressed. From here, it looks like this Pandemic has left you missing the spotlight, and this is a good chance to be in front of a camera again. The entertainment industry will never be the same, and you know it.
If that is harsh, then consider that making a show of taking responsibility is not the same as truly taking responsibility. It is making a show. You cannot take responsibility away from or for any other person. You just can’t. These things are not yours to take. We are sovereign beings, responsible to and for ourselves. Real change happens when cameras are absent.
It feels here as if the population of kneelers and rioters and apologizers are all reaching for the same thing. It is to place or receive blame and to somehow feel emboldened by that, important by that, and validated by that. This is acceptable and even necessary perhaps, for the youngest in the population as they try to “find” themselves. It is a show of immaturity on a grand scale by those who are a bit “longer in the tooth.”
And it is not helpful. Here are two tweets from young African American women, just this morning:
“Can white people stop being and feeling guilty for being white.”
“I’m so tired of everything being white people’s fault.”
There are systemic issues in our culture that are rising to the surface and will not be ignored. They need to be considered. From my most recent conversations with folks aged 20 something to folks aged 80 something, I can assert that they are (being considered). They need to be contemplated. And they are. Things need to be done differently in society. On that point there is agreement. We’ve been marching for equality for far too long. It is time we live equality. We can do this right where we stand. It starts in our heart.
All of this happens internally first. This is where you can access and feel responsibility. This is where it will mature. True responsibility is realized within. Perhaps this “quarantine” has gotten us to the point now of realization. Health and self are optimized when prioritized. You are best equipped to tackle your day when you spend part of it taking care of you. If you give them a moment, your heart and calm mind will speak truth. Truth for you. Truth you can hang onto when things get nuts.
This post started out talking about hair and ventured now into mental health, both of which have been, on the surface, decimated this year. There is no more pretense. Interesting that it revolves around our head. Some of us can shave our heads and dive right in, seemingly fearless, to either examine our reasons for actions or burn down what we see as unjust. Others of us need to just let our hair grow wild as we gradually contemplate what style will most suit this new world.
We each adjust at whatever rate we can manage, and are called to be generous with each other. This is a process none of us have navigated until now, and all of us have to. There are no tutorials, and we can’t “opt out”. We really are “in it together”, at least the media got that part right.
I can’t wait to see what we do next.
I believe in you. I believe in us. I believe in love.
Sophia
